As a child, I was forced to self regulate my emotions having caregivers who did their best but knew no better. Without having the proper tools and knowledge to do this, I became crippled with anxiety that resulted in prescriptions at the age of 20. I never went anywhere without that little bottle, popping ativan like they were skittles on top of my regular anxiety medication. While I’m sure my doctor meant well, her prescription pad became my best friend.
I had no idea who I was, what I wanted, or how to get there. I never felt safe to be who I was truly was without being told what was expected of me. I was living in a permanent identity crisis of being a chameleon to morph into whatever I felt the people I was with needed so that I could feel worthy of their love. I went to University and obtained a fancy degree that I haven’t used since graduation day. I made friends with all kinds of people, often on the wrong side of the law, and ended up in trouble while painted with a brush of association.
I moved across the country looking for a sense of belonging only to find myself crying on my bedroom floor alone and empty. Constantly fighting between wanting to feel normal and suffering withdrawals every time I tried to ween off my medication, I quit cold turkey and was determined to find a way to work through my pharmaceutical dependence and the emotional trauma that led me there. I was tired of being “good” and playing by everyone else’s rules while never establishing my own. Thus began my search for both healing and meaning. Along with it came the puzzling question, “Who the hell am I?”
I spent a long time looking for something that I had all along. I knew what I was good at, but I didn’t know what I truly enjoyed. I had no idea what my passions were because I spent years listening to what everyone else thought they were. I let everyone else tell me what my life should look like. I didn’t ever stop to think, “But what do I want my life to be?” I hit many rock bottoms of extreme emotional lows and unbearable agony before finally healing and seeing that my gift came in helping other women through their trauma.
After years of HR and management experience, I came across many different people and situations where I truly came to realize how to work with people to help them better themselves. That, coupled with my creative writing skills and burning desire to make a difference led to obtaining my certification in Spiritual Life Coaching along with the creation of Amanda Blaire Wellness. Currently finishing my first book, “Letters to My Unborn Child: A Mother’s Story of Love, Loss, and 16 Steps to Spiritual Healing After Choosing to Terminate Her Pregnancy,” I have many more planned. I have been called brave many times for the content the of this book and for taking a giant leap of faith. What people don’t see is I am no different than anyone else. I am no more brave than the next person – I have simply worked incredibly hard to remove my energetic blocks and learned to manifest and work with the universe. More than that, I have committed to live a love based life over a fear based life.
Make no mistake, I am still on a healing journey. As long as I am breathing I will always be healing and growing. What I can promise you is that I grow a little more each day and I will push you to do the same while offering a safe space of acceptance and gentle grace.
I can’t wait to join you on your journey and help you reach your full potential.
Certifications include:
Completion of 200 Hour YTT
Spiritual Life Coach Certification
Shaman Life Coach Certification
Yoga Life Coach Certification
Success Life Coach Certification